I’ve been sharing about my birth team—so far my midwife, Lea Ritter, and the doulas, Mana Shams and Susan Bratton—and today I’m introducing the “psychic doula,” Naia Leigh.
My story with Naia goes back from way before the birth, when she helped me process and heal from a major trauma that was tearing me apart. With her keen intuition and psychic-abilities, she helped me tune in to a greater understanding of what I’d been through in life, and how to move on from the pain.
She helped me metaphorically “clear house,” so that I became an “empty vessel,” a womb-being ready to have a baby. This part of my pre-conception process was very important. 💎
From the time I was pregnant she said she’d be willing to travel to be at the birth, and when the time came, she’d moved to my area, and was readily available to participate in the lead up to the birth. ✨
And what a participant she was! She offered to co-organize my baby Blessing Way gathering and went out of her way to make all my dreams for this day come true, plus some I didn’t even know I had. 🤩
As the pregnancy wore on, she’d come and rub my shoulders, and tell us about psychic messages she’d received from our baby.
Three simple statements stood out.
“My mama is so beautiful and I already love her so much.”
“I request silence in the room when I’m being born.”
And, “I am very small, but I know what I’m doing.”
Naia felt the last one referred to the birth, and we meditated on her instinctively knowing how to be born. Given the baby took her sweet time in the gestation process, this thought that “she knew what she was doing,” became a source of reassurance.
Naia showed up in so many ways. When my husband and I needed it, she’d be a listening ear for our relationship. And when we needed to lighten up, laugh and relax with a great meal, and have some fun, she’d be there for a lark. 🥰
When I was 40 weeks pregnant, Naia single-handedly took on creating a plaster-of-Paris belly cast, that we later painted and hung as an art piece.
Whenever I’d express a desire for the birth, she’d be listening, and was attentive to supporting me to make it so. 💝
For example, at the Blessing Way gathering she adorned me with a crown of baby roses, a desire I’d mentioned. Later she gathered craft materials and put hours into co-creating a colorful handmade mobile for the baby, adorned with roses, feathers, butterflies and more—another desire I had expressed. 🌺🌸
And two nights before the birth, when my labor surges” (a better word for contractions) were happening, she motivated my husband to set up his DJ gear in the living room, getting us up and dancing, even through the surges. (I have a video of this I’ll release one day!) 💃🎶
As the story would have it, she had to leave town the next day, for a prior commitment. Though she wanted to be at the birth, she had to go. As Naia left town, doula #4 showed up, and that’s the story of how I came to have 4 doulas.
If I’d succeeded in having a home birth with her there, she would have been singing with her frame drum, supporting the sacred space with her keen intuition, and doing anything needed to support me and baby. ✨
Weeks later, as I was still recovering from the surgery, Naia visited and held the babe in her arms. The baby loves skin-to-skin cuddling and Naia loves it too. 💕
Naia is a wonderful friend, attentive auntie, ambassador of sisterhood, and a fantastic doula. I’m extremely grateful for the grace of her in my life. May we all be as open hearted with our sisters. 👭❤️
Love,
—
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In the lead up to my birth, I was blessed to have a homebirth midwife (Lea Ritter) and not one, but 4 doulas, supporting me. Each played their own unique role, and in this post I tell the story of doula number 2, Susan Bratton.
Susan is a dear friend of many years and an absolute inspiration. She’s an extremely knowledgeable sex educator and her pizzazz and authenticity is palpable. ✨
Knowing her to be a pleasure-positive person, I informed her that I’d signed up for a program about orgasmic birth by Sheila Hamara Kay called “O’Baby.”
Susan was instantly intrigued and offered to support me in my orgasmic birth preparation. Because although orgasmic birth can happen out of the blue, it’s more likely to happen with the proper “training,” meaning more time spent in an orgasmic state during the pregnancy.
To achieve this goal, our plan was to do regular “yoni massages.”
The intention was multifold:
🔥 To get me in a pleasurable state of deep relaxation and turn on
🔥 To heighten my awareness of the various parts of my yoni
🔥 To keep me in the “pleasure zone,” even as my body changed and faced pregnancy-related challenges including heartburn and difficulty lying on my back.
Susan being a seasoned teacher of sexuality and a trusted friend was perfect for the role of “pregnancy pleasure partner.” At first my husband objected, thinking he should be the one giving me these massages. But soon he relaxed into the idea of delegating this area of birth preparation to a qualified expert and female friend.
He was doing a lot to support the pregnancy and birth preparation in other ways. Susan stepping in would lighten the demands on his shoulders. As they say, “it takes a village.”
Looking back, our massage sessions were one of the highlights of my pregnancy. I relished every minute of them, and wish for every pregnant woman to experience such relaxing, divine pleasure. 😌
Over the months leading up to the birth, we developed our “Ecstatic Birth Massage” protocol. Susan would start with my face, jaw, belly and breasts. Then she’d begin the yoni massage, starting on the outside, and working her way in, bringing blood flow to the whole area. ✨
Each session was truly exquisite and ecstatic. My body felt heavenly. My baby in utero clearly loved them too, as she’d started moving around in reaction to the sensual touch. 🔥
Just as a woman is meant to be fully engorged before intercourse—the way a baby typically “gets in,” so the same applies for the baby “getting out.” Simply put, engorgement is a key ingredient of orgasmic birth, and that was one of our principal goals. 💎
Most women experience yoni massages with a lover, so receiving them from a friend instead was uniquely different. The mood of the massage was sisterly. It was joyful, healing, relaxing, and accepting of the female body. We’d talk and giggle and I felt extremely nurtured and loved by Susan throughout the entire process. ❤️
The intention was for Susan to be at my birth as my “pleasure doula.” Since the sensations of pleasure and pain run on the same neural pathways, the concept is that a woman in labor can transform the pain of labor into pleasure by boarding the pathways with pleasure, via this delicious, sensual massage.
In addition to these ecstatic-feeling massages, in the lead up to the birth, Susan generously hosted an intimate Blessing Way for me in her garden and showered me with gifts for the baby. 🎉🎁
She always had a listening ear available for me and offered down-to-earth advice. And delightfully, as the big event drew near, she’d bring over food and wine for “doula dinner parties” with the birth team. 🥰
These dinner parties were so much fun! We experienced the preparation for birth as a social, community-building experience, during which our friendships were forged at an even deeper level. 👭
By this stage, everything was going really well with the pregnancy. I felt relaxed and literally blissful most of the time, and I’m sure the massages had something to do with that.
Early labor began for me deep into the night, and petered out in the morning. This pattern repeated for several nights. The painful sensations lasted only a minute, followed by several minutes of rest. I was dilating.
However, finally, the night before my baby was born, the sensations took a turn and became unbearable. The pain simply would not subside, no matter what I tried. With immense sadness I knew I had to transfer to the hospital. Though I hoped I could have my orgasmic birth there instead, with or without Susan’s help, it didn’t turn out that way.
At the hospital they determined that my dilation had reversed, not a good sign, and that baby’s heart was looking compromised. They said Cesarian-section was “medically indicated,” and by the looks of their evidence, it made sense to me. 🥺
I consented and a few hours later, I went into surgery and my baby was born. Sadly, this was not an orgasmic birth in the way I’d hoped. However, if we define orgasmic birth as a joyful experience to which I gave my all, then yes, it was. The birth was an orgasm of the heart, full of love and harmony with my partner, so by this definition, yes, it was an orgasmic birth. 🔥
In the end, Susan was not available to go to the hospital with me, which was not an issue because we had another doula available. Instead, Susan came to the hospital the next day, bringing an exquisite bouquet of flowers, and supportive positivity. 💐🌈
I give thanks to Susan. She’s a remarkable woman, a superb friend, and the perfect orgasmic birth doula. Hopefully with my next pregnancy, we’ll have a different result, the “orgasmic home birth in water” that we were aiming for. 🥰🙏
That said, for now I’m practicing surrendering to what happened this time. I’m thrilled by my baby daughter Zoë—and so is Susan—and I’m appreciating everything that happened as a needed learning experience. 💎
Susan and I are making a video series to teach how to give « Ecstatic Birth Massage » to a pregnant woman. You can get on the waiting list at www.EcstaticBirthMassage.com and we’ll be in touch as soon as they are released.
Love,
—
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I’d like to continue introducing you to my birth team.
I been in a previous post with my midwife, Lea Ritter, and now I want to tell you about my doulas—there were 4 of them!
Whereas my midwife was a paid professional, my doulas were all close girlfriends, participating in my birth at no charge, purely out of the love in their hearts.
I’m incredibly grateful to all of them for their amazing and unique forms of support. 💝
I’ll tell you about them one by one.
The first doula who raised her hand for the role was Mana Shams. She’s my best friend and the godmother of our baby. As soon as I was pregnant, she immediately offered to help with the birth and I instantly knew she was perfectly qualified to do so. ❤️
Mana is a medical intuitive and energy worker. She’s a Sufi mystic, musician and dancer. And so much more, it’s hard to explain.
Above all she comes from her heart all the time. She carries a sublime energy and everybody notices. ✨
Happily, Mana and I spent the entire pregnancy having fun together. We participated in a 13-Moon Priestess training all year. We danced and made music. And we got excited about the baby.
Mana would speak to my baby in my womb in Farsi, her mother tongue. Over and over she spoke to the baby. They say the unborn baby can actually hear voices, and recognize the most frequently heard ones. Isn’t that amazing! 🤩
I started to notice something extraordinary. When Mana would hug me, the baby would give her a little kick. When she would kiss my belly the baby would kick exactly where she kissed.
The baby was clearly sensing her presence and responding! I didn’t even know this was possible! 💎
Throughout the pregnancy, Mana participated in my birth preparation in more ways that I can list. She gave me emotional support every step of the way, massages, health advice, and more. As the birth rapidly approached, she helped me arrange baby clothes, a rocking cradle for the baby, and so much more.
However, when the time came for the birth, the baby took her sweet time, and went past her so-called “due date,” a concept I don’t believe in.
Mana already had plans to go to a sacred retreat in India, and by the time she had to leave, the baby was not born yet! The baby was born 2 days after her departure.
In the end, Mana first saw the baby through a phone screen, but since she’s returned, she’s a regular visitor to the babe.
I feel profoundly lucky to have such a supportive friend in my life, including as my birth doula.
Mana will be in little Zoë’s life forever, making her a very lucky girl too. 🥰
May all beings be lucky enough to have a friend as devoted as Mana Shams. 💎
Love,
—
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