Have you ever tracked the flow of your desire as the day passes?
When do you get turned on?
Or at a minimum, when do you at least feel receptive to being turned on?
Biochemistry tells us that generally the morning and the early afternoon are the most conducive times for arousal and orgasm.
In the past, I’ve observed that between 3pm and 4pm is when my body comes most alive with desire. For example, I’d be working at my computer when suddenly my Pussy would be mioux-ing to me, saying, “Hey, I’d like to be fed!” Due to the fact that I have a home office, and can arrange my schedule to permit “pleasure breaks,” this has been a private, informal ritual of mine over the years. I’d feel the urge and look at the clock and it was always the same time… “like clockwork” as the saying goes.
I’d take myself to bed with some massage oil and a nice sex toy, and 30 minutes later, I’d be back at my desk with a smile on my face, spring in my step, and a deep sigh of satisfaction in my throat. Ahhhh…
Later, when my partner moved in, sometimes he would join me for this magical moment… Sweet sigh. Those were golden afternoons of delight indeed!
However, all of this changed when he started visiting Switzerland on a regular basis, for months at a time, and our only contact became through the screen. We were 9 time zones apart, meaning his usual bedtime of 11pm or midnight corresponded to 2 or 3pm for me.
What used to be my upbeat, self-pleasure, orgasm hour, became my window of depression and listlessness. As 3pm would roll around, I’d find myself sad and lonely. On a bad day, I’d simply want to crawl under the covers, to take myself out of conscious awareness, but instead I’d soldier on, feeling dead inside.
Days would pass, my self-pleasure rituals gone by the wayside. I had no desire. I had no libido. I was too full of sorrow to reach for ecstasy.
Jena la Flamme with no libido?! It was a shock to my identity!
Am I over the hill? Do I have a hormonal imbalance? What’s going on? Will I get it back?
My misery ultimately led me to the conclusion that I must end my marriage, because my needs had no chance of being met within this relationship. Around that time, I met someone local. We had a short fling, and BAM, I felt desire again.
That relationship quickly faded but it helped me reclaim my sexuality as my own. I made a commitment to myself as a sovereign being, to move forward with my life, including my self-pleasuring. I promised myself to make it a regular ritual, daily or almost daily, to attend to my sacred flower temple, and stoke the flames of my passion with myself.
I made a special altar for my sex toys. I stocked up on pussy-friendly massage oil. I put on the sexy playlists. I lit candles. I made time and space. I also starting eating better, more real healthy meals, and less mindless snacking.
And what do you know…my libido came back! I was THRILLED!
“Welcome, desire. I want you, I need you. We are meant to be together!”
If you feel like your libido has gone by the wayside, maybe there’s a big move you need to make too. Perhaps you need to change a relationship dynamic (no easy feat.) Perhaps you need to call in a new, even casual lover, to support your re-awakening. Or perhaps you need to make the commitment to take yourself to bed with a new attitude.
I was raised to believe sex was something that was done to me and orgasms were something that were given to me by someone else. It took me over a decade to realize these ideas are fallacies, and to become my own sexual provider. You can be also for yourself!
Join my free Sensual Siren Activation Masterclass this Friday, August 16, at 1 PM PT | 4 PM ET to open the floodgates to your libido, your body confidence and your divine sensual and sexual satisfaction.
You deserve it, woman!
Leading Sacred Sexual Empowerment
and Body Confidence Activation Queen