If I Were a Single Guy in Park Slope

If a single guy in Park Slope were to ask me where to meet women, I’d be happy to respond. Firstly, I’d sympathize: Who doesn’t want a playmate with whom to explore the juicy side of life? Who doesn’t want a companion to cool you down when you are overheated, and warm you up when you are cold? We are social creatures by nature and attracted to complimentary energies. We all want to taste the divine on another’s lips and hear sweet words in our ears.

In order to support his quest I’d propose some practical strategies. Firstly I’d suggest that this man keep his ear out for dinner parties and gatherings to attend (that’s how I met my boyfriend after all) and I’d recommend meeting eligible women through trustworthy friends, as you never know who knows who. And as much as I’d advocate Internet dating&#8212a fellow Brooklynite friend of mine, Beth, recently married her match.com beau&#8212I’d emphasize a local approach, too.

To focus his search, I’d strongly suggest that he spend time on the block I consider to be Park Slope’s nexus&#8212Union Street between 6th and 7th Avenues. If there were an epicenter for beautiful women in the Slope, this would be it. No thanks to beauty parlors or fashionable boutiques, the beauty on this block comes from a deeper loveliness that is cultivated here. If you want more than a pretty face&#8212someone with whom to walk in the park, discuss politics, philosophy, and your passions, cook dinner, and share inspiration&#8212read on.

The Food Coop, the Tea Lounge and the Park Slope Yoga Center: Let me call it the “Bermuda Triangle of Beauty.” Any single guy capable of opening his eyes and his heart could easily lost in for days on end; these venues are teeming with exquisite ladies, beings who possess more than good looks, who are beautiful from the inside out. These women brim with aliveness, claiming colorful existences outside of the sterile suburban cocoon. They seek room to open their butterfly wings in a community that both inspires and supports their dreams. This triangle is a magnet for women who are strong and clear, healthy and informed, spiritual and creative. If I were looking for a woman, that’s where I’d go.

The Food Coop is a great place to start. Once you become a member you have stepped into the fertile belly of the Slope, where farm-fresh food and organic delights prevail in glorious abundance. You have also proven that you are willing to make an effort to nourish yourself, which is an attribute healthy women will notice. Thousands of local women are members, and you’ll find many opportunities to meet them.

Shopping and doing shifts are both great ways to connect with other members. Stay alert to who passes you in the aisle and use the food as a conversation starter. Break the ice with open-ended questions, those that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no, such as: “Which of these squashes do you think is the tastiest, and why?” or “How do you prepare your…?” as you point to whatever is in her basket.

Being caught on a long checkout line is another way to meet people. Do you take the time to really notice the people ahead or behind you in a line? Harness every moment; your future mademoiselle could be just under your nose. Take note of who is working at the checkout counter. She may have been swiping food for hours without anyone actually paying attention to her, inquiring into how her shift is going or how she is feeling. Take the initiative; you never know where it will lead.

After the Food Coop, check out Park Slope Yoga. Here any man has the numbers stacked in his favor, as few men venture through these lovely doors. Yoga centers are still the best-kept secrets as far as meeting women goes. Men, are you aware of the concentration of gorgeous, spirited goddesses that take yoga classes? It’s staggering. What are you waiting for? Join in! You don’t have to be flexible. We’re all as tight as one another at the edge of our ranges of motion. Flexibility is an acquired attribute and yoga is about the process, not the goal, so there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Your presence alone will be a statement that impresses women!

I have observed at yoga that we stretch, sweat, and open our hearts for 90 minutes and then afterwards, when we are feeling fantastic, similar to after a great show we have an itching for somewhere else to go to ride the wave of energy a bit longer. Therein lies a perfect opportunity to invite a classmate or two across the street for a chai and snack at the Tea Lounge, to savor the post-yoga class high together. Be courageous and willing to initiate. Can you see how neatly this triad of women-attracting venues fit together?

Yoga aside, the Tea Lounge is worth visiting on its own merits. There are many hip, artsy women there, women that know how to claim their downtime and actually chill out. My friend, Liz, met her boyfriend in a coffee shop. Their eyes met over the books they were reading on more than one occasion, which sparked conversation. Now they have been a couple for 10 months.

In the Lounge, keep your energy open by making eye contact, initiating conversation, and being attentive to the body language of who is coming and going. Go with your gut feeling take fearless action. Don’t be attached to the outcome of your initiative, or she will sense your heavy expectation. Be light, be playful, be flattering, and be willing to be vulnerable.

In whichever environment you find yourself, pay attention to the women around you. Don’t let them pass you by in a blur. Once you begin to consciously notice women, you will become aware of those who have radiance, those who emanate clarity, creativity, and celebration. Set your radar to find women who glow and who flow, whose inner cup is so full it spills over with the delight of a fountain. Stay alert for goddesses, perhaps in disguise, who honor their intuition, respond to their emotions, and surrender to the mysteries of life&#8212these are the ones to pursue.

Appreciate that such qualities are not innate, but carefully honed. Through their enjoyment of great food, yoga, music, dance, art, touch, communication, relaxation, and the pursuit of their pleasures, these women have refined that essence that now moves you. So respond, acknowledge their radiance and the thoughtful intent that went into nurturing it. As you become courageous enough to take in the fullness of whoever is before you, they’ll start noticing you. And then, when you least expect it, as you are inconspicuously breathing in her scent, you’ll realize that she’s quietly breathing in yours too!

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