I am the Queen of the Nile

It’s been almost four weeks since my ex and I completed our marriage and I’m happy to say, I’m feeling an improvement in my mood. 🤸‍♀️ I’m still absolutely in a grieving period, but I’m engaging in moving forward and living my life as a sovereign being. 👑

In this time, I’ve opened myself up to receive the love and perspectives of my friends and advisors, as I’ve contemplated my choice. 👭❤️👬

I was talking with a wise friend, justifying my choice to complete my marriage with my ex who wants to live primarily in Switzerland because his kids are there.

“Trust me, I’ve put much thought into contemplating I could move to Switzerland!” I told him, weary from how much I’d been tossing this up in my brain.

My wise friend, practically snorted. “You, living in Switzerland? You’re the Queen of the Nile.”

I wasn’t quite sure what he meant by that statement, but it sounded intriguing. 🤔 Instantly, I had a vision of floating down the Nile in the warm sunshine, looking and feeling like Cleopatra. 👸

Mmmmm…yeah, maybe he had a point there. Switzerland’s a tough climate for a sun-lover like me.

The conversation moved on to another topic, and soon we started to say goodbye, but I had to ask one more thing.

“Before we go, just let me know what you meant by the Queen of the Nile?”

“The Queen of the Nile?” he responded, looking totally confused.

“You told me I am the Queen of the Nile.”

He shook his head.

“I said you are the Queen of DENIAL!”

Oh, not Queen of De Nile, as I was hoping, but the Queen of Denial.

My image of me as Cleopatra evaporated. Suddenly it was a picture of me watching a movie in my imagination, and believing it was real. 💭

And there I thought I was a realist!! 🤭🤭🤭

Since that moment I’ve been taken more and more responsibilities for the places I have been denying reality, and causing myself pain by waiting for something that was never going to come along. The same friend told me that I had been “addicted to fantasies” which was also so hard to hear.

My current work is to dismantle the fantasies that I’ve been allowing to cloud my clear visions. Reality check, here I come. Time to burst the bubble and wake up to my own self-generated illusions. 💡

I share this because you might have the same task at hand for you. It may do you benefit to look at your fantasies and realities, and question if there’s a brighter future ahead of you by releasing your illusions and coming back to your power. ⚡⚡⚡

I realized something was wrong when I found that just thinking about my partner put me into an acute stress response, that would last all day. My nervous system was screaming to me, “You do not feel alright here. This is not working for you.” 🙅

When this happened three days in a row the alarm bells became obvious to me that something had to give. And I ask you, what alarm bells are ringing for you? Bad body image and other body struggles can be an alarm bell. Doubting yourself? Limiting your pleasure? 🔔🔔🔔

What limiting beliefs are you ready to outgrow so that you can spread your wings and soar? 

Take a deep breath, because you CAN adore yourself.
You can love your body and your sex life too.

You can be the source of pleasure, from your own hands and those of a companion. You deserve it. Every woman does for the heroic job of being a female in this insane world. 💫💫💫

With love from the Nile,

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